Remember how I floated out of CrossFit after my first full session? I was invincible, proud and strong. Yes I’d taken adjustments to the workout, I’d struggled with that lift but I felt like I’d done a great job.
I will always be honest with you, even if it means you see me and not an edited version (a scary but liberating prospect).
So I’m going admit to you how annoyed I was with myself after my second full session. I do still love CrossFit though, felt the buzz when I finished and was energised the next day.
On Tuesday, I arrived at the box to see the workout on the board. Karen – 150 wall balls.
As you can see, the first part of the workout was pull ups – five in a row, five times.
I had done these in the last WOD and my body remembered exactly what to do! My form was much better and the agony was less. I even asked the instructor what the order of difficulty was and tried going to a thinner band (harder). It was tougher but I have a realistic goal for next time.
Then came the WOD. 150 wall balls. To say I completely failed at the beginning would be an understatement. Not only did I miss the wall, I managed to bowl the weighted ball right across the room, taking out two water bottles at once. More than once.
I was close to tears before the WOD started. Then the instructor came over and kindly pointed out I was standing about two feet further from the wall than everyone else. And my technique was completely wrong. Ah, that would explain it.
I’d love to tell you that I suddenly ‘got it’ but no. I was throwing the lightest ball in the room and I couldn’t get my head round using my hips to power through. I was told I could aim for a green line, further down the wall to make it easier.
Then the clock started. I decided to count in sets of 25.
10 – “This is pointless, there’s no way I’ll get to 50, let alone 150″
25 – “I got through 25, wow”
50 – “This would be easier if I could just get the technique”
100 – “Oo fifty more! I can do this”
150 – “Ok, 150 done but no one else is even at 100. Let’s try 10 more really good ones”
After I reached 160, I went over to the (stunned looking instructor), told him I was done and asked if I should do more as I was only hitting the lower line. His response was “well, if you feel you can, try to do another 50″.
So I did, trying to shoot to the black line and have perfect form. As I hit the 50 mark I saw someone else was near finishing, so I noted my time.
Yes I hurt, yes my chest was on fire but I wasn’t proud of myself. Honestly, I felt like I had cheated, hadn’t worked hard enough, hadn’t challenged myself.
Unlike last time, when asked my score, I said it quietly, instead of shouting with pride.
It is simple to forget how we build and learn in sport. How many disappointing runs I’ve had, classes where I didn’t put that much effort in, yoga poses where I’ve fallen flat on my face.
The next morning, I woke up early and went for a run. I wasn’t trying for anything,simply running to clear my head, to listen to music and shake the funk my head was in.
Guess what? I got a PB! My fastest Garmin 5k, 26.04.
Boom. Back in the game.
Next time Karen, next time I’ll show you.
* How do you cope with a ‘bad’ session? Do you always strive to do your best when working out?